When a Family Member is on Life Support

Life support systems, and when to use them, are extremely controversial. Treatments are designed to extend someone’s life temporarily, while the body has a chance to recover. These
machines can take over to help the patient breathe, keep their heart beating, aid their kidneys in functioning, and provide nutrition. The goal of life support is to permit the body to have time for healing if a patient’s condition is potentially reversible. Unfortunately, some medical catastrophes are not reversible. At that point, life support is often utilized while loved ones make decisions regarding final withdrawal of life-sustaining treatment.

The choice to continue or discontinue life support is a heavy and emotional burden. This decision weighs heavily on loved ones and even the medical staff who care for the patient. At some point, an evaluation of quality of life is essential. It is normal to wonder if you are making the right decision. Here are a few tips to help you think it through. Ask yourself:

1. Why am I keeping them alive? Is it for my sake or theirs? Am I struggling to let go or is
   there actually a hope for recovery?
2. What would my loved one desire? Would they want me to sit by their bedside and wait or
   pray? Would they want me to let them go and keep on living without them?
3. At what point is someone actually “still alive” if they have no brain function and are only
   kept alive by machines?
4. Does spirituality have a place in my life or the patient’s life? How do the values and
   beliefs we each adhere to apply in this situation?

All of these questions can be anxiety-provoking. However, it is important to think about these kinds of things, even though it is difficult. If possible, have discussions with your loved ones and note each other’s wishes before a medical crisis occurs. That could spare the loved ones from having to make seemingly impossible decisions during a time which is filled with overwhelming emotions. And don’t forget that you can reach out for support! You can call a local therapist or chaplain, and please ask the care facility what type of resources they can offer you in your situation.

Written by: Brandy Burnham